My Most Private Trials

August 30, 2017

Where can you discuss the history of your own private parts? I’d love to post on Facebook about my penis, and we should be able to do that, but I’m afraid a large percentage of my Facebook friends would find it indelicate of me. Hence, this blog.

My penis gave great service for decades, until an event occurred when I was 50. A woman I met online was a self-described sex addict, and she wanted to come down from Conn. to have sex with me.


She was a very big gal, much larger than me…I’m about 155-160 lbs. She was at least as tall, had much broader shoulders, proportionate  hips and legs. She was meaty, and while she carried a fair amount of fat on her large frame, she was far from obese. She was mainly just a very large woman, I’d say about 300 pounds, a Viking woman, or perhaps, a Frankish Celt…she is also quite hairy with an immense pubic thatch of ginger hair. She would be perfect to sing the part of Brunhilda. Clearly, Cary, as I shall call her, required, for safety’s sake, a lover of the size of say, Hulk Hogan, not a scrawny, little Jewish man. But, she had chosen me, so I was game. And she liked my penis photos.

At some point, I was inspired with a very stupid whim. I wanted her to get on top. To Cary’s credit, she warned me that this might be a bad idea. But, I wanted to feel her full weight on me and see what it was like…to be a small woman with a big man, for instance. She climbed on top of me…well, climbed is an exaggeration…but she fucked me from above. She was heavy, but nothing I couldn’t endure, i thought.

Ok, just so you know what the baseline was,  I went into this gig with a widely acknowledged, very attractive 8″ penis that curved slightly to the right. Sadly, no fotos of it survive from that time. At some point, while we were together, I’m not sure of the timeline now, but certainly not long after we did the on-top experiment, I felt the most awful ache in my penis and groin. It was something I had never experienced before. I should add, that at some point, Cary let me know that she wanted me to inseminate her, and that she would raise the child with no obligation on my part to support or participate. She was an elementary school principal and made good money, much more than I did at the time. I answered, no, I can’t commit to that without some thinking on it. She was in a great hurry, desperate I would characterize it, as her biological window was closing, and apparently, I was the finest and perhaps only candidate she’d encountered in a long time.

The next morning the ache in my nether parts was, if anything worse. She woke up beside me cheerful and hopeful, and she immediately sensed that I had pulled away emotionally. I didn’t even consider telling her that something was terribly wrong with my plumbing since we had made love, and that this pain and anxiety about the problem probably accounted for my sour mood. She flew back to Conn. broken-hearted, womb empty, and as she texted me (just once, and never again) she had a terrible nose-bleed on the flight home.

I felt bad about what a mess this had turned out to be for her, but really, I felt worse about the mess in my groin. I saw a urologist asap, and he checked things out, prostate and all that, and couldn’t pin down the cause, except that it could be a slightly enlarged prostate. Well, the pain continued, and then one day, I stroked up an erection, and discovered the most frightful thing. When erect, my penis hurt even more, and it had twisted around in a new direction, and I could feel hard patches and uneven terrain under the skin. I was terrified.

Went to the doc, found out I had Peroni’s disease, which is some sort of plaque attack that can distort the form of the penis. I’m pretty sure I misspelled the name, but don’t expect me to look it up again. They don’t know what causes it, but they think trauma.

Trauma. Like a 350 lb gal bouncing on your dick. I couldn’t believe what an idiot I’d been.

Treatment…none. Prognosis…unknown. It sometimes gets better to a lesser or greater degree, and sometimes not. One could only wait and see.

Well, while I waited, my penis twisted around like a pretzel snake, one way, then another, at quite deep angles too. I continued to masturbate, and though it hurt some, the pleasure was worth the pain. I could not imagine facing a woman with this pathetic twisted thing, however. It was just as well, as I had decided I would bring home no more crazy broads to confuse my easily emotionally upset young son, and the best way to do this was to just quit trying to meet anyone for the next few years.

Eventually, my penis did largely straighten out, though it now bends to the left instead of the right, and at a slightly more acute angle, though I’d say it’s still within normal parameters. The shaft is not as smooth under the skin as it once was, but again, not to any morbid degree. Also, it’s about an inch shorter than it was, and it feels to me that it’s a bit less in girth as well. Fortunately, I had a larger than normal penis to start with, so now I think it’s settled down at the upper end of normal. Not an admirably big penis anymore, but I’m pretty confident that most women would find the size adequate. I’m grateful for that. My penis has been completely stable for quite a few years, and I have been feeling as if I’m out of the woods, as far as the Peroni’s goes.

Not having relations for many years, I failed to notice that I was developing some degree of erectile dysfunction. I masturbated regularly, and just hadn’t thought too much of the fact that I more and more frequently was ejaculating after losing my erection, or without ever having hard wood at all. At the time, I didn’t worry too much about it, figuring I simply lacked adequate erotic stimulation.

So, my son grew up, and a couple years ago, I renewed an acquaintance with a woman I’d known when we were children, when for one highly charged afternoon when I was 13 and she was 11, we’d felt something erotic pass between us. She was now widowed, I divorced, we drank, rubbed up against each other, made out, then we stripped down to make love, and I was soft. It finally occurred to me that I had ED.

It’s possible there’s been some nerve damage, as I don’t seem to have a heart issue or too low testosterone, and there is some degree of numbness in my penis especially near the base.

I found that getting rest and exercise helps, a couple or three days of abstinence helps, and I am getting good, long-lasting erections at times without any ED treatment. But just 20 mg of Sildenafil…the generic form of Viagra 50mg…will, with acceptable erotic stimulation,  usually result in a really good erection, and often, with one as hard as oak, and an unexpected bonus, an enhanced sexual perception and pleasure that has had me crying out from the intensity of it. This is something truly new, and all the more amazing since I’m already 64 years old.

I’ve had intercourse only once since the failed attempt, and it worked well, also a couple of blowjobs that also went very well, at least for me. Those assignations were quite the adventure, which I will write about soon.

In the meantime, I will leave you with a photo of my erect penis as it appeared today. I had a harder hard-on yesterday, but today’s held up for a very long masturbation session…and a photo. I doubt you’d find anything very odd in its appearance now. If only you’d seen it 8 years ago, when it looked like a pretzel.

Btw, the swelling in my groin on the right is a slight inguinal hernia, asymptomatic.

dick 3



March 27, 2012


a son and father moment 4 years after the financial meltdown

March 27, 2012


how to get rid of lingering mywebsearch blocking or hijacking search in your firefox browser

March 27, 2012
I did not have the mywebsearch toolbar, nor one of its nefarious programs listed in my programs menu, and yet my google search from the firefox search engines toolbar (its always next to the navigation toolbar), was still being hijacked or blocked by mywebsearch.
I ran hijackthis, and discovered that access to a file was being blocked. That was the clue that solved this problem. If you see the same problem when you run hijackthis, and the file is “Hosts”, then do this:
Go into C:\windows\system32\drivers\etc. You will see a file named hosts, and a backup file that is named hosts.xxxxx, (the x’s being a bunch of numbers). Just rename the backup file “hosts” (not with quotes obviously), and remove the first hosts file. I didn’t remove it as I was not sure if I was making a mistake, I just renamed the first host file “host.backup”. But obviously it’s not needed, it’s the hijacked file, so you could probably just remove it. If you open “hosts” to see what’s in it, use notepad, and you will see that bing and google are listed there instead of localhost, and they have been given false ip addresses by mywebsearch malware. Unfortunately, my windows 7 wouldn’t just let me edit the Hosts file in notepad and save it. But, my renaming method works just as well. Unfortunately, mywebsearch is still hijacking the search page when I search from the navigation (address) bar. That was resolved with the next solution.
To stop the mywebsearch from hijacking search from the address bar, type config:about into firefox address bar. The cursor is automatically placed into page search, so just type mywebsearch. This will show you all the lines with mywebsearch in it (and maybe some others, ignore the ones that don’t have mywebsearch). Change the line with a boolean choice to false. and the other 2 lines change to http:\\

mywebsearch will leave your firefox completely now, except for auto fill in the address bar. Clear the appropriate history from the tools bar, or clear everything if in doubt.





What a cartoon about Nazi genocide would have looked like in The New Yorker magazine, 1944

April 21, 2011

The New Yorker, 1944


Chip, a Boy’s Life, 2011

April 21, 2011



October 21, 2010

I’ve started a little campaign to improve literacy in our schools. This is a letter that I sent to the Superintendent of the Broward County School System in Florida, where my son attends Middle School.

Dear Superintendent Notter,

I do hope you had a wonderful Dictionary Day last week! I imagine that you spent a very busy day attending many Dictionary Day events at various Broward schools. I have no doubt that school participation in this worthy effort to promote dictionary skills was 100% in our Broward County school district.

It is really wonderful that the Broward County School system acknowledges the importance of dictionary literacy in establishing good reading habits among our students. I am so glad that there is universal acknowledgment by our educators that understanding words is the only way to achieve reading comprehension. It was not long ago, believe it or not, that Broward County teachers encouraged children to guess at the meanings of words using context clues, rather than to look them up in a dictionary.

I am thrilled that we now have a curriculum established that indoctrinates our children with the importance of accurately understanding the words that they read in books, texts, and articles. Thank goodness that we now teach our kids that all reading comprehension in any subject, and for any purpose, can be attained only by grasping the actual concepts represented by individual words. And from that comprehension flows many good things in life, such as being able to: accomplish things; feel good about oneself; gain the admiration of others; and succeed in life.

It seems like only yesterday that Broward educators first acknowledged that students often guess the wrong meaning for words, even when properly using context clues. I can remember the seminars where it was demonstrated to reading teachers that students who guess at the meanings of words are often unable to express verbally what the word means and are unable to use the word properly, yet the student would often insist that they did understand the word. It was shown that when the misunderstood word was cleared up properly using dictionary definitions, that the student gained a new understanding not only of that word, but of the entire text.

*                                                                                            *                                                                                               *

Well, obviously, I’ve been indulging in a little satire. Dictionary Day was October 16th. This year, it fell on a Saturday, so the day to celebrate it would have been the 15th, or perhaps the 18th. I do not know if the day was acknowledged by any school or by any educator in Broward County. I do know that at the school my son attends – Silver Trail Middle – there was no acknowledgment of the day at all. I know this because I spoke to the school librarian at the Book Fair last night.  She had never heard of Dictionary Day. She did, however, lament that dictionary skills had “fallen by the wayside”. She added that reading teachers she had spoken with also were concerned by the decline in dictionary use. I replied that I was surprised by that, since I thought reading teachers bore a lot of the responsibility for that decline.

In fact, I have spoken to reading teachers, and elementary school teachers, and the previous principal of Chapel Trail Elementary, and I have never had a single one of these educators agree with me that too much emphasis is given to training students in guessing the meaning of words from “context clues”, and too little emphasis is given to dictionary skills and the use of dictionaries while reading.

Three years ago, I was called by my son’s 4th grade teacher at Chapel Trail elementary  to come in for a conference. When I arrived, I was surprised to see the principal waiting for me. Apparently, a conversation I’d had with my son had gotten back to him.

The day before, I had instructed my son to look up words in the dictionary while he was reading. I volunteered to help him use the dictionary. My son answered me that his teachers had told him that he should use context clues to guess at the meanings of words. He refused to use the dictionary with me. I replied that as his father, the primary responsibility for his education fell on me, and that this gave me, and not the school,  “final authority regarding your education.” He was to read using a dictionary to look up words he did not understand, and I would help him.

The principal thanked me for coming in, and then advised me that Broward County schools had instructional policy that had to be followed. If parents all insisted on different policies for their own children, then the system would be unworkable. He quoted back to me my statement to my son that I was the “final authority” on his education. He shook his head. That would not work here. The Broward schools policy was that children should learn to use context clues to guess the word meaning. This is the method they wanted them to learn and to use.

I still have not been able to train my son to use a dictionary while reading, or even that it’s important to do so. He refuses to cooperate, because he has concluded that I am trying to usurp the authority of his teachers and principals. In all his 6+ years in the Broward school system, he has received only one cursory lesson – I believe it was in the 3rd grade – in using a dictionary. But every year, he is given at least one, sometimes several reviews on how to use context clues to guess the meanings of words. He is taught that this is the preferred method for reading comprehension. I was told the same thing when I brought the subject up to his current reading teacher during the open house at the beginning of the school year.

I trust, or at least I fervently hope, that some day we will look back on this era in education, and laugh at how benighted we could have been to believe that guessing at words was a good way to achieve high reading comprehension. Say it out loud and see how ridiculous it sounds:

“Guessing the meaning of words is a great way to understand what you read.”

I suppose that while taking a test, or maybe while reading to fall asleep at night, this is OK. You aren’t allowed to use a dictionary in the test scenario, and of course, you don’t need a dictionary to fall asleep. But, if what is being read is of any importance whatsoever, shouldn’t you know what the words actually mean?

I implore you to take a look at how the incredibly important subject of reading comprehension is treated in our schools. Are the children taught that it is vitally important to understand the words that they read in order to understand the text? Are the children taught dictionary skills? Are they indoctrinated in the use of dictionaries while reading? Are they taught the importance of precisely understanding the meaning of words that they read? Is “guessing the meaning” the main method of reading comprehension taught in Broward schools? If it is, what evidence is there that this is the best method to use? Is this pedagogy faulty? Is it possibly the cause of many of our failures to educate our children? Do we want children to guess what the author is saying…or to know what the author is saying? Should they read  by guessing word meanings, or by actually knowing word meanings?

Please join me in asking these questions. Right now, the pedagogy in Broward County public schools favors children guessing the meaning of words while they read. Dictionary skills are neglected, indeed, they are devalued. If you do not believe me, ask some students the following questions:

1. How often do you use a dictionary when you read?
2. How many hours of dictionary skills instruction have you received since you started school in Broward County?
3. How many hours of homework have you received in practicing Dictionary Skills since you first started school?
4. When was the last time you had a class lesson in the use of a dictionary?
5. Does your reading teacher require you to use a dictionary to look up unknown words when you read?
6. Has your reading teacher ever discussed why it is important to look up words that you don’t understand?
7. Have you ever had a lesson teaching you how to recognize words you do not really understand, but assume that you do?
8. When was the last time you had a lesson on guessing word meanings from context clues?
9.How many lessons have you had on guessing word meanings from context clues since you started school?
10. From what your reading teacher has taught you, do you think she wants you to use context clues to guess the meaning of words while you are reading, or to look the words up in a dictionary?

I think if you asked these questions of students, you will find that the use of dictionaries (or other sources) to learn actual word meanings while reading is depreciated by our reading teachers, and that guessing word meanings is promoted almost exclusively. I suppose it should not be surprising to anyone that Dictionary Day is completely ignored by our educators, and that my son’s school librarian had never heard of Dictionary Day.